Category Archives: Vivika’s Musings

Vivika's Musings

My Mistake

Leave a comment

There are so many platitudes that can start this off.

“We all make mistakes.”

My favourite is:

“To never make mistakes is to never learn.”

We’re only human at the end of the day. I wanted to take a look at those platitudes and consider the mistakes I’ve made in my own life. Some have been silly, others have had much more dire consequences.

I’m a clumsy mess some days. I’m a mixed bag of efficient, logical thinking and ham-handed to the point of sitcom humour. I can also be scatterbrained and yet suprisingly strong for my stature. With that kind of make up, mistakes are inevitable.

I’m not just talking about knocking the coffee mug off the counter. I’m talking about mistakes that run a little deeper. Trusting the wrong person, refusing to take care of yourself properly or even taking an easier route out of a sticky situation that makes matters worse. I think we’re all guilty of those in our lives. If you haven’t been, then I wish you the best and may that never come to you.

I was asking myself, just the other day, what the biggest mistake I ever made was. I was unable to pick one. We lose count of the amount of times we have gone wrong in life. The thing about mistakes is even if they seem so daunting at the time, upon reflection they are so much easier to wrap your head around. Yes, you may have trusted the wrong person. That person isn’t in your life anymore. They now stand as a memory. You drank too much, ate to much of the wrong food. You maybe even took substances you knew you shouldn’t. If you’re realising this now, then that means the mistake has been made and you have time to heal. You chose the easy way out. Maybe you left a friend in the lurch to protect your yourself. Maybe guilt even eats at you as you think about it. That guilt, is a sign of learning. You know it was a mistake.

Mistakes truly are something we can all learn from. None of us are the same person we were even just a month ago. We are always growing, learning, making mistakes and recovering. The most beautiful thing about the human spirit is it’s capacity for adapting. We can and always will do better. Make no mistake about that!

Enjoy this? Check out these thriller titles, available now:

Vivika's Musings

Gym Bunny

Leave a comment

I’m going to begin this with a confession. I’m not the most graceful person. Thinking back, I never have been.

I won ‘Miss Personality of the Year’ back in the 90’s and that was for a majorettes competition. I had been so frog legged and entertaining in my attempts to throw a baton, the judges had decided I deserved a whole new accolade of my own.

I’m used to that. Despite my lack of grace and poise I do like to keep active. I cycle, walk and go to the gym. I’m in my late thirties and I’m only five foot tall. I still carry a bit too much weight for my height, despite that generally active lifestyle. Luck of the genes I guess.

I’m no stranger to the gym and as such I’m no stranger either to the enthusiasts that tend to reside there. The ‘lycra clad’ bunnies and ‘cut of sleeve’ bros spending more time on setting their phones to the right angles than actually working out. Uploading to Insta is their cardio.

Anyway, there’s me, following my usual routine – treadmill, rowing, bicycle. It makes no difference to me being amongst these people. It did get me thinking of those who may be a little more insecure in themselves than I am.

I read a few stories about some being gawked at the minimum and being completely ridiculed at the worst. Firstly, that is a terrible way to behave towards anyone. Secondly, If a person is overweight and struggling with health issues, isn’t the gym the right place to be?

Whenever I see someone who is heavy set, at the gym, my first thought is ‘well done’. They are going out of their way to improve their health and that is always admirable.

More than once, I have mentioned to friends and partners about going to the gym and they have replied, ‘but you look great.’

Whilst I appreciate the compliment, I remind them I don’t go to the gym for aesthetic reasons. I have heart issues and it does me good to keep active. Not only that it is good for my mental health. Muscles and trim bods are good and all, but happy and healthy is the most attractive no matter your natural size and shape.

Enjoy this?

Check out these thriller novels from Vivika Widow. Available now.

Vivika's Musings

Station Madness

Leave a comment

Over the years I have travelled on many buses, trains and other assorted public transports. I’ve had driving lessons. In fact, I had my first lesson at seventeen. It’s just something that fell down my list of priorities in my adulthood. I’ve always managed to find my way, even to the most obscure places anyway. Driving lessons were never something I felt was necessary. Using public transport so frequently does mean I’ve met some characters and had some adventures over the years.  

I’d like to discuss one of those adventures that happened to me quite recently. Take your seats, store your bags and have your tickets ready for inspection. Every other week I visit family in my home city – two buses, a train and another bus to get there. This even occurred on my return journey.  

The first bus of the day went by without much to report. That was until I realized I hadn’t booked the second bus. I had been so caught up in the weekend I decided I would book it on my way into town. As the first bus carries me into town I’m reminded my Apple Pay needs updated. I pull my purse from my bag and make the transaction. All good so far. The driver is a calm, considerate one too which makes a change. 

A random mix of pop, grunge, rock, classical and musical theater is blaring through my headphones as I step off at the station. I drag my case off and all is going according to plan. Little did I know, fate’s plans were different from mine. 

 The bus I booked won’t be for some time yet. I take a seat at a local restaurant to have lunch, I reach into my bag. It’s then I realise I’ve left my purse on the bus, sat on the seat beside me as I wander off, in my head, giving a rendition of ‘memories’ worthy of Broadway. 

Dragging my case back to the station I was inwardly praying to whatever deity would listen that I could get the purse back. It wasn’t far and I had only just left. If I ran fast, I could catch the bus before it left again. I’m no Usain Bolt. I’m no sprinter. Just a little over five foot tall and dragging a weekends worth of laundry with me I had all odds stacked against me.  

I got back to the station just as the bus pulled away. I asked at the customer service desk. They tell me my purse would be handed in to their depo lost and found. Where’s the depo? Across the river, practically on the other side of the city. This is all kinds of no use to me because I’m leaving the city completely on the bus I had taken the damn purse out to book in the first place.  

There was nothing I could do. I just had to deal with the matter the next time I was in town. I had to update my phone so I could use Apple Pay. No harm. No drama.  

I click updates.  

My phone so kindly informs me that because I had waited so long for these updates, they were going to take hours to complete. What can I do but settle down and wait it out? Maybe it will get faster as time goes on. Wishful thinking, I know, but I am an optimist.  

The bus starts to queue. Like a good British person, I join the other passengers and wait to board. What’s the problem with that, you ask? My ticket is on my phone and it’s still updating. There I am at the bus terminus having to empty my laundry out to find my laptop – the only other access to email I would have at that point.  

Finally I sit down.  

YOUR UPDATES ARE COMPLETE. 

Yes, thank you very much. Just get me home!  

Enjoy this? Check out these novels from Vivika Widow, free to read on KINDLE UNLIMITED.

Vivika's Musings

Learning to Fly

Leave a comment

I was lucky enough to have been diagnosed with Turner’s syndrome as a. newborn. There are a lot of other TS women and girls who haven’t received their diagnosis until later in life. This can be detrimental to your health as underlying problems with the kidney, heart etc go unnoticed and untreated.

Despite having known all my life and having paid the multiple hospital visits over the years I never really had much of an opportunity to meet others who shared my experiences.

In 2013, I decided that I wanted to do what I could to help other women and girls who might feel alone and need a some support away from doctor’s waiting rooms and large conferences. I set up a blog where I could share my TS story and give others the opportunity to tell their own in their own words.

My first novel had just been released that September and whilst I was thrilled to be living a lifelong dream, I still had a lot of passion for my little blog.

Soon after, RAGDOLLS UK, was established. The blog grew and to this day I am proud of all those across the UK who have joined our story, continue to support and make every minute spent continuing to reach out to TS girls, worth it.

If you haven’t heard of Turner’s syndrome, that’s no surprise. There are still so many, including medical professionals, who aren’t fully aware of it. If you want more info head on over to the link above and immerse yourself in the stories of some of the most amazing, inspirational women I’ve ever met.

Vivika's Musings

My Favourite Character

Leave a comment

Whether it’s books or movies we love characters for different reasons. Sometimes we love them because the represent everything that we admire. Sometimes we loath them so much we love to see them on screen because it specifically garners a reaction. The specific traits, looks and morals these characters are written with embed such memorable moments in our minds.

So what makes the character stand out? First and foremost the dialogue they have is interesting and engaging. An example of this would be Orlenna Tyrell on the Game of Thrones series. She became a popular character because she had great words to share. Together with the fact it was terrifically performed she was a stand out. Which brings me to my next point.

The performance of an actor in the role of that character does wonders for that character becoming a fan favourite. Find yourself a much loved part and cast a hunky model in the role and you’ve got a winner.

As an avid reader characterisation is important. Personally I enjoy characters that would be considered villains. Their lack of moral boundaries Is what I find interesting to follow. Who knows what they will do next!

What’s your favourite character? What traits tend to make your favourite character?

Vivika's Musings

What inspires me?

Leave a comment

We all take inspiration from different things. Sometimes it can be grand visions like the wonders of the world or the imaginings of what lies at the far reaches of our galaxy. Sometimes it can be the simpler things such as how a message from someone close to you made you smile.

What is most important about inspiration is (to put it plainly) what it inspires you to do. Some say I can be quite the macabre sort and I’m going to give credence to that by mentioning the fact that sometimes people are inspired to do terrible things. Horror movies and gore have often been quoted as inspiration for terrible acts. I dare say that has been true in some cases.

Inspiration overall is a wonderful thing. We have been inspired to create great works of art, to build the most beautiful music or to step up and help each other. To me, what inspiration is, underneath it all, is that stirring we all feel to want make a difference.

What have been some of your inspirations? Where do you look for that stirring?

Enjoy this? Check out these thriller titles available now.

You can get all the latest updates from the Coldford Daily by subscribing to the VW newsletter.

Stay updated by being part of the super awesome email list!

Processing…
Welcome. You're now a member. Shhhh!
Vivika's Musings

What bothers me …

Leave a comment

I’m sure there are lots of things we could each pick out that we consider to be bothersome. Some days you’ll feel like nothing will be able to shake you and on others you will find everything to be an irritant. However, what I’m looking at here is the grander scale. I’m thinking about those things that require effort to change.

I was recently having a chat with some readers and they were discussing characters of mine who they found completely abhorrent. As an author this is great news. Whether it’s the good, the bad of the ugly you always want to get a reaction from your reader. I have written characters that have done some of the most despicable things. Was it the torture? Was it the cold blooded murder? Was it the ruthless ambition? Nope. It was casual racism that crowned the most horrific.

It made me realise, racism, sexism and many other isms and phobias are what bothers me. Writing characters with these horrible traits is my way of showing readers how ridiculous it sounds. It’s farcical most times and it demonstrates how little respect I offer people with these kinds of views. The characters I instill with these traits will either learn their lesson eventually or will be sorry they didn’t (no spoilers).

It’s one think I would like to change in this world and it is something that bothers me a great deal. Why someone should be judged on race, colour, sexuality, gender identity just completely baffles me when there are far more important things we could be working on. I hate to hear these kind of views. I was in a shop just the other day when a man behind me started yelling about some franchise owners being anti catholic, how he hated bigots and they should all be taken out and shot. Nothing provoked this comment. We weren’t even in the shop he was referring to. He didn’t seem to see the irony of his statement about hating bigots being, well, highly bigoted in its sentiment. Take them out and shoot them? What does that solve?

Unfortunately I can’t delete this kind of sentiment from the world. What I can do is point out how ridiculous it sounds when I hear it. The man in the shop was a little taken aback when no one took him up on his views and I myself laughed at how ridiculous he sounded. Maybe next time he will think twice before puffing his chest out and spout hatred. If he truly believes some corporation is anti catholic then form a picket line, submit your complaints or boycott the damn shop. In the meantime I’ll continue to air these frustrations through fiction.

Enjoy this? Check out these thriller titles available now.

You can get all the latest updates from the Coldford Daily by subscribing to the VW newsletter.

Stay updated by being part of the super awesome email list!

Processing…
Welcome. You're now a member. Shhhh!
Vivika's Musings

My Big Adventure

Leave a comment

When you reach a certain age it’s likely you will sit back, reflect on your journey so far and ask yourself, what the Hell was I thinking?

I ask myself this quite a lot. It’s not necessarily because I’m getting to ‘that age’ (whatever that means). It’s because it’s natural for us all to reflect. We’re sentimental creatures at heart. One might argue that those who say ‘live for the moment’ are doing so because they have reflected on the past and decided life’s too short.

Recent reflections got me thinking about how much of an adventure life truly is. For some of us it is a fun adventure full of colourful characters. For others it is a dark journey fraught with danger. Whichever your adventure is you should be proud of it. Here you are at this point of it and as the main character you are still standing.

I would say my adventure has been a mixture of both really. Even when those days became truly dark and it looked like the adventure would be over there was always that path to take that would lead on to the next chapter.

Enjoy this? Check out these thriller titles available now.

Vivika's Musings

The Internet Reacts

1 Comment

‘The internet reacts.’

It’s a phrase that’s getting thrown around a lot these days. Most of our lives are integrated heavily into the online world so it’s only reasonable that when something happens in the world the ‘internet’ would react. The thing is, am I the only one who finds this phrase completely ridiculous? It’s almost as annoying as ‘fur baby’ or doggo.

I wouldn’t mind so much if it were used when a large group of online users reacted to something worthwhile. If I were told the internet reacted to a natural disaster and now awareness, support and funding is incoming to help I would be the first to applaud. If someone said the internet reacted to some creep trying to groom little kids and now said creep is behind bars where they belong I would be all for that.

There are occasions when the the term ‘the internet reacts’ is used for these things. However, most often it is used in reference to psudeo celebrities making fools of themselves on Instagram or some other social media platform. I’ve seen it quite often used to refer to a new outfit worn by a member of the royal family. ‘She wears a daring shade of blue and the internet reacts’. It’s all bullshit. Not only does it highlight how little relevance the subject in question is to real life but to me it shows a deep condescension towards the public by assuming these are the petty things we should react to.

Don’t get me wrong. If you like the celeb culture then great! It’s full of gossip and glitz. If that’s your thing then you have at it. The point of this is the internet connects us in ways we’ve never had in our history. At the touch of a button I can be chat to someone on the other side of the world. It gives us the chance to truly react to the things that matter. Keep up to date with the good work around the world. There are so many who need support in various different ways and those are the ones who should garner a reaction.

Enjoy this?

Check out these thriller titles available now.

Vivika's Musings

Emotional support canine who needs support?

Leave a comment

My brother and his wife recently adopted a beautiful Collie pup they named Gio (yes I’m proud to say he derives his name from Gio Remar, the merciless warden nicknamed Cerberus from my Boss trilogy.) Like most border collies he his incredibly intelligent. He is also affectionate and a lot of fun to have around.

Introducing a pup into any household always comes with its challenges. There is a lot of training involved. Gio has been taking to this like a duck to water. As I said, he is incredibly smart. He offers a warmth to the home only dogs can provide. I’ve always been more of a cat person. I know this will get all you dog lovers out there to scoff but I generally find dogs obnoxious. Whilst I would do them no harm I wouldn’t go out of my way to have one myself. This is the reason I keep guinea pigs instead. Gio has softened my opinion on this. He’s not even a year old yet and his instincts are sharp, his behaviour is impeccable and whilst he tends not to enjoy you lying on the sofa without being able to sleep on top of you he’s a brilliant animal.

I could see why those who seek emotional support would look to dogs for this purpose. They are pack animals so that caring instinct is deeply embedded (in most breeds). What happens when the dog is the one needing emotional support?

The last time I paid a visit to my brother’s house we were chatting as he was setting out Gio’s afternoon feed. The dog had grown impatient, bounded towards his bowl and knocked it from my brothers hand. As I said there is a lot of training and patience in taking in a pup. That wasn’t the issue. The mess could be cleaned and Gio would learn to sit and wait to be called. He got upset though. Yes you read that right. The dog got upset. I don’t mean the tail between the legs, ears dropped because he was being chastised kind of upset. I mean he sulked. He sulked so badly he wouldn’t eat the lunch he had been ravenous for only moments before this. Both my brother and I were astounded. The mess was fixed and we tried coaxing him to eat. He continued sulking. We had to speak to softly to him and assure him it was okay. The dog needed emotional support because he knocked over his own bowl.

In cartoons the animals are deliberately given facial expressions. In real life dogs have their own ways of telling you how they feel. Gio is so expressive. Being such an intelligent creature he feels his emotions. I guess he was disappointed in himself. Despite us assuring him it was okay he gave himself a time out on the stairs until he felt better or he saw my sister in law (his mummy).

This random musing on the dog had me thinking about our connection to animals and the natural world in general. It’s something we will never lose no matter how advanced we become and quite rightfully so. When getting to know Gio better it makes me realise how important our place on earth is. It’s something we shouldn’t take for granted.

Enjoy this? Check out these thriller titles available now.

You can get all the latest updates from the Coldford Daily by subscribing to the VW newsletter.

Stay updated by being part of the super awesome email list!

Processing…
Welcome. You're now a member. Shhhh!