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Vivika's Musings

Conspiracy to theorise

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There are a lot of conspiracy theories out there. Some of them are completely outlandish. Some of them at least sound like they hold an element of truth. What interests me most about it is getting a glimpse into what shapes people’s beliefs.

The first outlandish one that comes to mind is ‘flat earth’. I trained as a scientist so whilst I like to believe in the fantastical, I do have to some logic in the world around me. Logic directs me to the scientific evidence that the world is not flat.

A more recent one that was and probably still is widespread (no pun intended) is theories surrounding COVID19. A global pandemic is an experience I never thought I would have in my lifetime but in 2020 the entire world shut down. In this instance theories started to arise because people were frightened. Many were dying. We were being told to stay in our homes. Shop shelves were empty. It was a horrendous experience and terribly frightening. That collective concern culminated in the belief that we weren’t being told everything. People were frightened and they were looking to try to garner some kind of understanding and through this theories starting forming. Some were ridiculous (it was a hoax set up to gain control and instill a new world order.) Some were frighteningly real sounding (it was a bioengineered weapon).

In this era of modern technology there are unprecedented opportunties to share these theories. The realism AI can provide means that misinformation floods everywhere. When I was gathering my thoughts for this blog I was hesitant to research conspiracy theories online. Who knows were my algorithm would take me. It’s already wild enough researching for thriller books.

There are so many conspiracy theories, I’d be here all day going through them all. I wanted to open the discussion on them though.

Do you have any theories that are considered conspiracies that you truly believe in? If so, what shaped that belief? No arguments necessary. No debates just looking to understand.

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Vivika's Musings

The Internet Reacts

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‘The internet reacts.’

It’s a phrase that’s getting thrown around a lot these days. Most of our lives are integrated heavily into the online world so it’s only reasonable that when something happens in the world the ‘internet’ would react. The thing is, am I the only one who finds this phrase completely ridiculous? It’s almost as annoying as ‘fur baby’ or doggo.

I wouldn’t mind so much if it were used when a large group of online users reacted to something worthwhile. If I were told the internet reacted to a natural disaster and now awareness, support and funding is incoming to help I would be the first to applaud. If someone said the internet reacted to some creep trying to groom little kids and now said creep is behind bars where they belong I would be all for that.

There are occasions when the the term ‘the internet reacts’ is used for these things. However, most often it is used in reference to psudeo celebrities making fools of themselves on Instagram or some other social media platform. I’ve seen it quite often used to refer to a new outfit worn by a member of the royal family. ‘She wears a daring shade of blue and the internet reacts’. It’s all bullshit. Not only does it highlight how little relevance the subject in question is to real life but to me it shows a deep condescension towards the public by assuming these are the petty things we should react to.

Don’t get me wrong. If you like the celeb culture then great! It’s full of gossip and glitz. If that’s your thing then you have at it. The point of this is the internet connects us in ways we’ve never had in our history. At the touch of a button I can be chat to someone on the other side of the world. It gives us the chance to truly react to the things that matter. Keep up to date with the good work around the world. There are so many who need support in various different ways and those are the ones who should garner a reaction.

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Vivika's Musings

Dinner for Four

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It’s an age old question that seems to be important to a lot of people. You most likely would have been asked it in your life in some shape or form and that question is, ’if you were to invite anyone in the world (living or deceased) to a dinner party who would those guests be?’

I like this question because to me it highlights the human want to connect with others, no matter the barriers. It shows we like to connect in an intellectual way. The purpose of this exercise is to show who you would like have around your table for the purposes of hearing what they have to say. A dinner party, by nature, is a way of sharing discussion and opening up. Those you would chose to sit around your table says a lot about your personality. So for the purposes of this discussion, my pick of dinner party guests would be as follows:

Charles Dickens

Not only is he one of my most favourite authors and a huge inspiration of mine, he was also a critic of the moral evil that was present in Victorian London. He used satirical writing to bring attention to these injustices and he was effective in doing so. This undoubtedly influenced writers who came after him to approach their work with the same boldness. I know that certainly was the case for me. From what is told he was a kind hearted, intelligent man who paid close attention to what was going on around him and for that reason having a chat with him would be an opportunity I would hate to miss.

Harry Houdini

Escape artist, circus performer and spiritualist debunker. Houdini is already an admired figure of mine so he would naturally make for an exciting presence at my table. I would love to ask him all about his escape acts and his performances. His thrill seeking presence would keep things lively and I’m naturally engrossed by people who have a performance flare. He spent a lot of his later career debunking spiritualists. Discussing this could make for a lively debate. Also, after some wine has flowed and bellies were filled he could grace us with a demonstration of one of his tricks.

Anne Frank

If there is ever a girl with a story to share at a dinner table it would be this one. She lived through great adversity and it was of no fault of her own. She was just a young girl who had no control over the devastation that was arising around her. She already had a fascinating story to tell as is evident in her famous diaries. Learning about this young girl’s remarkable experiences from her own mouth would have the discussions going on well into the small hours.

Those are just some examples of the fascinating figures I would invite to my dinner party. Given the opportunity to reach out to anyone, who would you choose? Funny? Inspirational? Intruiging? What would you look for in your dinner party guests.

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Vivika's Musings

Toxic Free Zone

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I have hit on this subject matter before but since it is something that really resonates with me and it seems something that so many people have to deal with in their daily lives I am going to broach the subject again. Since we are now heading a little further into 2022 (I can’t stop myself still writing 2020. Where did 2021 go?) we are leaving behind the holidays that force you to interact with relatives and acquaintances that, shall we say, aren’t the most positive influences in your life. That means that you may find yourself a little freed from toxic people. I hear all to often good people putting up with toxicity because ’they’re family’ . Toxicity is toxicity regardless of blood. It doesn’t matter if she birthed you. It doesn’t matter if you shared parentage. It doesn’t matter if some DNA test would confirm you are related, toxicity is still toxicity.

Just the other day I was having a zoom call chat with a friend and they were telling me just how anxious and upset they were because their elder sister had been staying with them and she was making their life a misery. Now, if someone came to you and asked, ‘can you put me up for a little while? In exchange I’m going to take over your whole house, I’m going to treat your hobbies and interests like a joke and I’m going to make your life a misery to the point your stomach starts to rumble with nerves as you reach your own front door, you would say Hell no. However, when they come flashing that magic DNA access pass it seems to make the whole situation more difficult. It shouldn’t be. You have to prioritise your own well being. Being related is no excuse to disrespect you. Your home is your haven and you can’t let it be invaded by noxious forces.

Maybe you have that friend from school that their very company leaves you emotionally dehydrated. You listen patiently for hours as they list off the problems they face and their hatred of the world around them but never ask how you are doing. Life is tough enough. You need people who lift you up not put you down. Knowing someone for a long time and them still behaving like putrid ponce should tell you all you need to know about them. I’m no expert and I dare say I have my own share of behaviours some would consider toxic but to me any relationship is a partnership of sorts and requires mutual respect.

In ode to this I say to all of you have the best 2022 there can possibly be for you. Clear out those cupboards, wash up those messes and dry those tears because every day is another chance to start something new and it can start right now.

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Knock Knock

Fixing Broken Things

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I’m not the only kid who ever thought about running away from home, you know. But I can bet that there aren’t many who thought about it as much as I did. I was stopped so many times, brought back to the start. They couldn’t hold me forever. 

What was I running from? I don’t run from anything. It was what I was running to. I was running to a better life. I was running to people who could help me fix what was broken.  

The Knock Knock club. That was the place for broken things. Everyone went there, even me. It was for adults only but it was my Aunt’s place so they let me in. The door there was never closed. I wasn’t running from anything. I was running to the Knock Knock club.  

My Aunt Tee was a star. They called her The Baroness. Everybody liked her. They all loved her. She even saw it in her to love me. Even after everything I had done I knew she would still love me so I ran to the club. They were my real family anyway.  

When I got the club it was too late. It had been burned out. Aunt Tee had been taken to a place called Harbour House. She had completely flipped. She couldn’t say anything. Not a word. Not even to Aunt Aggie. The closed the curtains at the Knock Knock but Harbour House would help her. That’s what I was told. It was a rehab clinic. She wasn’t an addict or anything but they said they could fix her. 

At least she wasn’t in that place alone. She had a music teacher, Vincent, with her. Apparently he was a a real creep when they brought him in but captivity changes people.  

The things these must have seen. A stalker, a kidnapper. Those are the kind of things that Harbour House fixes. He was obsessed. Can they fix that? 

Is it important? Of course its important. Obsessions can get real bad. They make people act stupid then things end up broken.  

There are drug addicts in there too. They say don’t judge people until you walk in their shoes. I wouldn’t like to walk in David Finn’s shoes. If anyone should have ran away from home it was him. Now all he has to walk in is hospital issue flip flops. He’s an artist. He had it real good for a while but then he stumbled onto Harvester Farm. He didn’t like what he found there so they locked him in Harbour House too.  

Time is running out, according to the Harvesters. Time for what? Time for the slaughter? 5:02 is the slaughter time for them. That’s when the cut cattle throats and bash bull heads. Well it’s not 5:02 yet at least not for the residents of Harbour House.  

None of this would have happened if the Law Makers listened. They say justice is blind. It is at least in one eye.. What good were they in this dung pile of a city? What good are they for fixing broken things? There are broken things in every inch of This Place. What good are they to anyone when a place like Harbour House exists. 

Read the complete season 1 free here or click below to download for Kindle.

Rehabilitation is the promise. But for three residents, never seeing the outside world again becomes a grim possibility if they’re unable to face their troubles.  

Read Vivika Widow’s hit thriller free on Kindle Unlimited.

Coming May 14th! From the Author of MAESTRO ; MUSE and HARBOUR HOUSE , step outside the Knock Knock club and head on over to Hathfield Bay Island for a nail biting, knuckle whiting , full in your face exciting glimpse into the lowest depths of humanity.

Pre order by clicking below.

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Vivika's Musings

time to kill

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“All roads lead to the same place in the end.”

A question was posed to me the other day from a friend. If you were told that you only had until the end of the week to live the rest of your life, what would you do?

This isn’t a new question. What we would do with the hypothetical time we have left is something humans have pondered for a long time. However, given just a week, what would I choose do?

First and foremost I would obviously want to see my loved ones. I would want to do everything that makes me happy. Usually I find these are the simple things like my favourite books, movies, walks. A week is not a lot of time and although the big bucket list experiences like sky diving or bungee jumping are great for considering, I believe to make that week the best ever it wouldn’t be spent rushing around trying to find some last minute thrill. It would be found by doing the things that I’ve always done that made me smile.

You don’t have to look far outwith your own surroundings to find those things that are worthwhile. The truth is there isn’t just a week. There is a lifetime. If you want to seek those big thrill bucket list items then now’s your time. Now’s your time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Given the current lock down situation obviously things are limited but you can plan those experiences. You can do all those things you always wanted to do. In the meantime, take a look around yourself. If you had the week how much of what you do now would you still do? Look for the things in your daily life, the small things, that make you smile. They are the most important.

Coming Spring 2021

How far must a man fall before the climb back up becomes too steep?

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Vivika's Musings

Can’t Live Without

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“We forget the things we should value the most.

Too busy seeking those shiny things to boast.”

Have you ever been asked what you would find difficult or even impossible to live without if you were stuck on a desert island? No? Well consider this my putting the question to you.

Internet seems to be incredibly important to people these days. It’s a way to research and keep in touch with friends and family so let’s assume for the sake of this pondering that it was taken away. What then? Maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself and the internet is one thing that you would most definitely not live without. After all, whats the point in being on a sun kissed island if you can’t send those snaps to insta? But let’s assume phones, tablets and their ilk are not possible. What then?

PEN and PAPER

Even in this day and age with all the streaming devices I would be content just to have a pen and paper to scribble away. I would document my thoughts, fictional stories or maybe a detailed description of the conversations I’m having with a favoured palm tree on this imaginary island. To me if you are able to do that there is no amount of isolation that could get to you. I’ve always been a weird kid with a nose in a book though.

MUSIC

life on that deserted island would be pretty dull without music, wouldn’t it? I live my life by music. It wakes me up, it follows me throughout the day and it puts me to sleep again. I’m not exactly sure how this would work without modern conveniences to play music on but one way or another I’d need to have music around. Maybe the crashing waves could provide the music …

A WAY TO TELL THE TIME

For as long as I can remember I have always been a little anxious when there is nothing around that is able tell me with some degree of accuracy what time it is. A clock, a watch or even a home made sun dial would be something I would need. Although time keeping is a man made construct and being on a desert island would be an opportunity to learn to not live your life around the clock.

A COMFORTABLE CHAIR

Whether it is for resting, dozing or pondering I would need to have my favourite shady spot. I guess it is in human nature to try and find that little space we can call our own. Give me my comfortable chair and I’ll be content.

THESE GUYS

My niece and my nephew. They are as close to me as my own babies. It would be a struggle to be without them. I guess I’m not as good with isolation as I thought …

So what about you? What would be those things that you just couldn’t live without?

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Vivika's Musings

My Best Gift

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For me the best gifts are those given with real thought in mind. I have always valued sentimentality in presents over monetary value. I mean, precious gems, fancy holidays and the likes are not to be sneezed at but for me it is far more important that someone gives some thought to why the one receiving the gift would love it. This is something I try and keep in mind when I’m buying gifts for others. With that considered it made me think of some of the beautiful gifts I have been lucky to receive over the years.

There was a time in my life when I needed that sentimentality more than ever. I was in my second year of medical school, I was battling depression, exam stress and was isolated hundreds of miles away from my family and friends. Christmas came and on the morning in question my dad presented me with a hand drawing he had made for me of Frankenstein’s monster. To put you in the picture not only is my dad an amazing artist but Frankenstein is also my favorite novel, favorite movie and – dare I say it – one of the reasons I was inspired to study anatomy in the first place. Not only was this incredibly thoughtful but it was also something I could take back to medical school with me, pin to my wall and remind myself of what I was working towards (the degree I mean not the ghoulish experiments …)  

You see for me it really doesn’t matter how much was spent on a present. It doesn’t need to be expensive or flashy. Some of the best gifts are those little things that you see and think, ‘so and so would love this.’ It’s a cliché platitude but it really is the thought that counts. A gift should be something that shows a person that you were thinking of them. When it comes to big events it is too easy to get swept up moving from shop to shop to find something that meets a financial expectation. Birthdays, holidays and general moments of sharing should be about what the other person means to you. In my humble opinion the best way to show that is to show that you have been listening. I guess what it all boils down to is showing how much you really know them and want to make them happy with your gift.  

So, what was some of your most thoughtful gifts? Are you a sop like me and love the sentimentality or is it the shiny things you enjoy most?   

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Vivika's Musings

My Earliest Memory

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I have a terrible memory at the best of times so why, you may ask, have I chosen to write about my earliest one? Just how far back can I go?

Despite having a shocking memory there are those moments that just stick. One such memory is of something that happened to me when I was about 5 years old. It’s probably not as far back as many of you can go and probably not technically my earliest memory but it certainly did stand out for me.

My mother had explained to me that she was going to visit an aunt. Letty her name was. I had never heard my mum mention this aunt before and I had certainly never met her. I was in and out of hospital a lot as a kid so I was familiar with all the hospitals in the area. The one I was taken to to see Letty wasn’t so much a hospital as a care home. It was private, beautiful with elaborate gardens. The lighting wasn’t as harsh as a hospital normally would be. The nurses weren’t wearing NHS uniforms. There was hospital beds though. That was when I was introduced to Letty. As I said I had never met this woman before in my life. Mum seemed to know her real well though. She was incredibly sick. She had an oxygen mask on and kept drifting in and out of sleep. Mum spoke to the carers but I watched Letty, comfortable, clean and surrounded by people.

Obviously mum had just made it her point to say hello to an old relative as she was easing away from life, perhaps not a relative at all but a friend of my grandmother. Either way having never met before I was taken to this strangely caring, friendly place. Now that I’m older I realise it was probably a hospice. The reason this particular memory stands out to me is because it was all so strange as a five year old. As a child you see things in black and white for the most part. I had never before witnessed death and age walk hand in hand with smiles and comfort.

We may have only just met that one time but Letty certainly had a huge impact on me. I could ask my mother exactly who she was and why she was there but sometimes it’s best to allow that little bit of mystery to remain. I sincerely hope that little girl clutching a grey rabbit brought some comfort to you Letty. I do remember it made you smile.

What about you? What was your earliest memory?

#amreading a #blog by @VivikaWidow

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Bring me your sick. Bring me your troubled. Bring me those that society can no longer cope with for they will always have a home here at Harbour House.

Characters, Knock Knock

Character Profile: Theresa Crusow

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Name: Theresa Clifton nee Crusow

Occupation: Housewife

Features in: KNOCK KNOCK

Wife of reporter, SAM CRUSOW, Theresa had also been studying journalism at City College when she met her husband-to-be and their friend MADELINE LOWER. After the first year she left, deciding she didn’t want to pursue one of Coldford’s most dangerous professions. Instead, she stayed at home where the danger gathered around her, waiting on the call to tell her her husband had asked questions of the wrong person or knocked on the wrong door.

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From the Clifton family, Theresa had a luxurious life raised in Clifton Hall in Hollyburn. The Cliftons are slum landlords. Whilst their tenants live in dank conditions their fortified hall is a world away.

Theresa is more than just a reporter’s wife. She has secrets of her own. However, whilst Sam is Hell bent on chasing a story on the KNOCK KNOCK CLUB and how it connects to the disappearance of Mayor Feltz. Whilst his focus is stolen he fails to see what is happening closer to home.

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Theresa is high maintenance, a little self absorbed and easily swayed by con men and vagabonds. You could say she is easy prey in the Shady City and whilst her husband’s attention is drawn elsewhere the vultures will circle.

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