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Vivika's Musings

What inspires me?

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We all take inspiration from different things. Sometimes it can be grand visions like the wonders of the world or the imaginings of what lies at the far reaches of our galaxy. Sometimes it can be the simpler things such as how a message from someone close to you made you smile.

What is most important about inspiration is (to put it plainly) what it inspires you to do. Some say I can be quite the macabre sort and I’m going to give credence to that by mentioning the fact that sometimes people are inspired to do terrible things. Horror movies and gore have often been quoted as inspiration for terrible acts. I dare say that has been true in some cases.

Inspiration overall is a wonderful thing. We have been inspired to create great works of art, to build the most beautiful music or to step up and help each other. To me, what inspiration is, underneath it all, is that stirring we all feel to want make a difference.

What have been some of your inspirations? Where do you look for that stirring?

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Vivika's Musings

My Big Adventure

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When you reach a certain age it’s likely you will sit back, reflect on your journey so far and ask yourself, what the Hell was I thinking?

I ask myself this quite a lot. It’s not necessarily because I’m getting to ‘that age’ (whatever that means). It’s because it’s natural for us all to reflect. We’re sentimental creatures at heart. One might argue that those who say ‘live for the moment’ are doing so because they have reflected on the past and decided life’s too short.

Recent reflections got me thinking about how much of an adventure life truly is. For some of us it is a fun adventure full of colourful characters. For others it is a dark journey fraught with danger. Whichever your adventure is you should be proud of it. Here you are at this point of it and as the main character you are still standing.

I would say my adventure has been a mixture of both really. Even when those days became truly dark and it looked like the adventure would be over there was always that path to take that would lead on to the next chapter.

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Vivika's Musings

The Internet Reacts

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‘The internet reacts.’

It’s a phrase that’s getting thrown around a lot these days. Most of our lives are integrated heavily into the online world so it’s only reasonable that when something happens in the world the ‘internet’ would react. The thing is, am I the only one who finds this phrase completely ridiculous? It’s almost as annoying as ‘fur baby’ or doggo.

I wouldn’t mind so much if it were used when a large group of online users reacted to something worthwhile. If I were told the internet reacted to a natural disaster and now awareness, support and funding is incoming to help I would be the first to applaud. If someone said the internet reacted to some creep trying to groom little kids and now said creep is behind bars where they belong I would be all for that.

There are occasions when the the term ‘the internet reacts’ is used for these things. However, most often it is used in reference to psudeo celebrities making fools of themselves on Instagram or some other social media platform. I’ve seen it quite often used to refer to a new outfit worn by a member of the royal family. ‘She wears a daring shade of blue and the internet reacts’. It’s all bullshit. Not only does it highlight how little relevance the subject in question is to real life but to me it shows a deep condescension towards the public by assuming these are the petty things we should react to.

Don’t get me wrong. If you like the celeb culture then great! It’s full of gossip and glitz. If that’s your thing then you have at it. The point of this is the internet connects us in ways we’ve never had in our history. At the touch of a button I can be chat to someone on the other side of the world. It gives us the chance to truly react to the things that matter. Keep up to date with the good work around the world. There are so many who need support in various different ways and those are the ones who should garner a reaction.

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Vivika's Musings

Emotional support canine who needs support?

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My brother and his wife recently adopted a beautiful Collie pup they named Gio (yes I’m proud to say he derives his name from Gio Remar, the merciless warden nicknamed Cerberus from my Boss trilogy.) Like most border collies he his incredibly intelligent. He is also affectionate and a lot of fun to have around.

Introducing a pup into any household always comes with its challenges. There is a lot of training involved. Gio has been taking to this like a duck to water. As I said, he is incredibly smart. He offers a warmth to the home only dogs can provide. I’ve always been more of a cat person. I know this will get all you dog lovers out there to scoff but I generally find dogs obnoxious. Whilst I would do them no harm I wouldn’t go out of my way to have one myself. This is the reason I keep guinea pigs instead. Gio has softened my opinion on this. He’s not even a year old yet and his instincts are sharp, his behaviour is impeccable and whilst he tends not to enjoy you lying on the sofa without being able to sleep on top of you he’s a brilliant animal.

I could see why those who seek emotional support would look to dogs for this purpose. They are pack animals so that caring instinct is deeply embedded (in most breeds). What happens when the dog is the one needing emotional support?

The last time I paid a visit to my brother’s house we were chatting as he was setting out Gio’s afternoon feed. The dog had grown impatient, bounded towards his bowl and knocked it from my brothers hand. As I said there is a lot of training and patience in taking in a pup. That wasn’t the issue. The mess could be cleaned and Gio would learn to sit and wait to be called. He got upset though. Yes you read that right. The dog got upset. I don’t mean the tail between the legs, ears dropped because he was being chastised kind of upset. I mean he sulked. He sulked so badly he wouldn’t eat the lunch he had been ravenous for only moments before this. Both my brother and I were astounded. The mess was fixed and we tried coaxing him to eat. He continued sulking. We had to speak to softly to him and assure him it was okay. The dog needed emotional support because he knocked over his own bowl.

In cartoons the animals are deliberately given facial expressions. In real life dogs have their own ways of telling you how they feel. Gio is so expressive. Being such an intelligent creature he feels his emotions. I guess he was disappointed in himself. Despite us assuring him it was okay he gave himself a time out on the stairs until he felt better or he saw my sister in law (his mummy).

This random musing on the dog had me thinking about our connection to animals and the natural world in general. It’s something we will never lose no matter how advanced we become and quite rightfully so. When getting to know Gio better it makes me realise how important our place on earth is. It’s something we shouldn’t take for granted.

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Vivika's Musings

My hero

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We all need some inspiration. We all need someone to look up to. What do we seek in our heroes? I guess we look for someone who embodies the best elements we wish to see in ourselves. We look for a hero who can show us what it means to be braver, kinder, stronger or better in some way than we generally consider ourselves to be. You may find this in superheroes. It would be easy to when the media is so saturated with them. We may see it in public figures who have some qualities we look to emulate or are doing work that we find admirable. Heroes of all kinds inspire us to do our best and reach for a goal.

You might think heroes are something for children to look up to. I would argue that it’s not just young people who need the inspiration. Adults would do well to find someone to look up to. It could be someone younger too. Take Malala Yousafzai for instance. She is a truly inspirational girl who fought for the rights of others like her to have an education, something I took for granted to a certain extent. Her fearlessness in pursuit, despite her youth, is to be admired. She is a hero in a lot of respects.

For some a hero is someone who lived a long time ago but their impact is still felt such as Sophie Scholl, another young activist. Along with her brother, Hans, she resisted the Nazi indoctrination that was surrounding her. She boldly took part in distributing anti nazi leaflets. The reason her actions still resonate is because of the danger she knew she was putting herself in but still she continued. Eventually she paid the ultimate price for it but she believed there were more important matters.

We live in an age where it is so easy to be bombarded with the evil that is present in the world. There are so many bad people out there it would seem. I dare say there could be stories told about the people I have mentioned that wouldn’t place them in the best of lights. They are only human after all but if you find something in them or anyone for that matter that inspires you then embrace it. On the days you are finding it difficult to find a hero then take that as a cue that it’s you who is to step up. You can be the hero if you need to be. We all can. We can find inspiration and we can inspire.

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Vivika's Musings

Why do you have to be that way?

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I’m going to be blunt here because as you will find from the content of this particular post that’s just how I am. Ever since I was a little girl I have always been made out to be some kind of freak because I tend not to go about things the ’normal’ way. The other kids were, I guess, expected. When you are growing up you don’t know much about the world and you are learning so I can see why I was seen as being somewhat unusual by my peers. That wasn’t just it though. Adults were much of the same opinion.

What made me so freakish? What did I dare to do that was so unconventional? Nothing really. It was a curiosity I had about the world around me that others wanted to curb. They said they were concerned about me. After all, curiosity brought about the demise of the proverbial cat. I wanted to visit museums rather than playing with the other children. I wanted to read books rather than take part in party games. For that I seemed off and weird.

As I grew up I continued on that trajectory, caring not one bit about what others thought. As an adult I was considered strange because I had no interest in having children or getting married. To me marriage is an outdated concept that has no real place in modern society. Sure, there are plenty of people who love being married, are excited to be married or can find happiness in that kind of partnership but it’s just not for me. As a thirty something woman with my own independent life I don’t see any way a marriage could improve my current existence. I’m especially close to my little 11yo niece and my 3yo nephew so they are all the children I need.

I guess the point of this rant is to urge you all to live your life the way you want to. Do the things that make you happy despite what society might think is appropriate. I’ve grown up people thinking I’m a freak. Embrace that freakishness because odd things, atypical hobbies or out of the ordinary life decisions don’t make you any less valid than the most conventional of people. What would the world be without that varied tapestry?

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Vivika's Musings

Dinner for Four

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It’s an age old question that seems to be important to a lot of people. You most likely would have been asked it in your life in some shape or form and that question is, ’if you were to invite anyone in the world (living or deceased) to a dinner party who would those guests be?’

I like this question because to me it highlights the human want to connect with others, no matter the barriers. It shows we like to connect in an intellectual way. The purpose of this exercise is to show who you would like have around your table for the purposes of hearing what they have to say. A dinner party, by nature, is a way of sharing discussion and opening up. Those you would chose to sit around your table says a lot about your personality. So for the purposes of this discussion, my pick of dinner party guests would be as follows:

Charles Dickens

Not only is he one of my most favourite authors and a huge inspiration of mine, he was also a critic of the moral evil that was present in Victorian London. He used satirical writing to bring attention to these injustices and he was effective in doing so. This undoubtedly influenced writers who came after him to approach their work with the same boldness. I know that certainly was the case for me. From what is told he was a kind hearted, intelligent man who paid close attention to what was going on around him and for that reason having a chat with him would be an opportunity I would hate to miss.

Harry Houdini

Escape artist, circus performer and spiritualist debunker. Houdini is already an admired figure of mine so he would naturally make for an exciting presence at my table. I would love to ask him all about his escape acts and his performances. His thrill seeking presence would keep things lively and I’m naturally engrossed by people who have a performance flare. He spent a lot of his later career debunking spiritualists. Discussing this could make for a lively debate. Also, after some wine has flowed and bellies were filled he could grace us with a demonstration of one of his tricks.

Anne Frank

If there is ever a girl with a story to share at a dinner table it would be this one. She lived through great adversity and it was of no fault of her own. She was just a young girl who had no control over the devastation that was arising around her. She already had a fascinating story to tell as is evident in her famous diaries. Learning about this young girl’s remarkable experiences from her own mouth would have the discussions going on well into the small hours.

Those are just some examples of the fascinating figures I would invite to my dinner party. Given the opportunity to reach out to anyone, who would you choose? Funny? Inspirational? Intruiging? What would you look for in your dinner party guests.

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Toxic Free Zone

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I have hit on this subject matter before but since it is something that really resonates with me and it seems something that so many people have to deal with in their daily lives I am going to broach the subject again. Since we are now heading a little further into 2022 (I can’t stop myself still writing 2020. Where did 2021 go?) we are leaving behind the holidays that force you to interact with relatives and acquaintances that, shall we say, aren’t the most positive influences in your life. That means that you may find yourself a little freed from toxic people. I hear all to often good people putting up with toxicity because ’they’re family’ . Toxicity is toxicity regardless of blood. It doesn’t matter if she birthed you. It doesn’t matter if you shared parentage. It doesn’t matter if some DNA test would confirm you are related, toxicity is still toxicity.

Just the other day I was having a zoom call chat with a friend and they were telling me just how anxious and upset they were because their elder sister had been staying with them and she was making their life a misery. Now, if someone came to you and asked, ‘can you put me up for a little while? In exchange I’m going to take over your whole house, I’m going to treat your hobbies and interests like a joke and I’m going to make your life a misery to the point your stomach starts to rumble with nerves as you reach your own front door, you would say Hell no. However, when they come flashing that magic DNA access pass it seems to make the whole situation more difficult. It shouldn’t be. You have to prioritise your own well being. Being related is no excuse to disrespect you. Your home is your haven and you can’t let it be invaded by noxious forces.

Maybe you have that friend from school that their very company leaves you emotionally dehydrated. You listen patiently for hours as they list off the problems they face and their hatred of the world around them but never ask how you are doing. Life is tough enough. You need people who lift you up not put you down. Knowing someone for a long time and them still behaving like putrid ponce should tell you all you need to know about them. I’m no expert and I dare say I have my own share of behaviours some would consider toxic but to me any relationship is a partnership of sorts and requires mutual respect.

In ode to this I say to all of you have the best 2022 there can possibly be for you. Clear out those cupboards, wash up those messes and dry those tears because every day is another chance to start something new and it can start right now.

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Holiday Hums and New Year Bugs

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Welcome to 2022 folks!

I can almost hear the collective moan as we recover from a year long hangover of lockdowns and all sorts of other struggles. Regardless of that I hope you all had a great holiday. This time of year tends to bring a lot of stress on people (most of it unnecessary). We are conditioned to want to spend money on elaborate gifts, debt rises and the pressure of having to enjoy ourselves really takes it toll.

I for one like a quiet holiday with those nearest and dearest to me. I grew up in a raucous household so nowadays I like things more subdued. It makes me sound like an old woman but life is tough enough without some overly commercialised holiday forcing you to spend time with people you can’t really stand throughout the year. We’re told to grin and bear it, they’re family. They’re blood. Like Hell they are! Family are people who come into your life to make it easier, to support you. If Uncle Jim across the table is on his fifth glass of wine and demanding everyone listens to his racist tirades then that’s not family. When Grandma is guilt tripping you because you’d rather spend your Christmas day happy than crying in the bathroom because she hated your gift then that’s not family.

As someone with no kids I can only imagine how dreadful the approach of the big man with the beard must be for those who do. It has to be tough seeing all those photos of bragging parents with the mountain of gifts they bought their little precious when you are worried if you can even scrape enough together to get those shoes they really wanted. It’s unnecessarily showy. ‘What are you trying to prove?’ I always wonder.

I don’t want to put a downer on Christmas. The truth is I do find it a fabulous holiday. It’s message is to be kinder to each other, to bring joy and cheer to each other and to spend some time in celebration with those close to us. That is a principle I will always champion. I guess my point here is don’t let yourself get bogged down with the pressure of it all. Remember, toxic people are toxic people and don’t deserve a seat at the table even if they are blood and Aunt Kate will be really put out if not invited. Screw you, Aunt Kate. If you force yourself in then cousin Derek will have to come too and he can start a fight in an empty house.

We all have them. This time of the year is always a real test. But it can also be a marvellous opportunity of new beginnings. A new day, a new month, a new year. When you are given the chance of complete revival it doesn’t matter what came before. Look forward and make this the best year ever!

I love you all folks and I sincerely wish you the best time ahead.

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The dark parts of your mind

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My ten year old niece is hitting that stage of life where she is observing the world around her and developing her mind into her own tastes. She has found herself fascinated by the darker side of literature, movies and art. She knows her aunt is very much the same so it is a beautiful bond we share in that respect. I was much the same when I was her age. I read macabre books, I watched horror movies and Edvard Much’s Scream was my favourite painting and still is one of my favourites to this day. With that in mind we came to a discussion on the line between fiction and fact. We discussed how throwing yourself into a dark mindset can require you to know that there is a firm difference between creative licence and reality. I’ve already discussed the influence media can have on the temperament in a previous blog which you can read HERE but I’d like to revisit the topic from the perspective of those of us who create dark material.

All roads lead to the same place in the end.

I told my niece that some of the work that I write requires some dark thoughts that you of course wouldn’t even consider normally. In order to write characters with despicable intentions you have to think like that and it can be a little mentally exhausting. Creative licence is important and I don’t believe in hindering yourself if you really want push boundaries in art but as a young person I wanted my niece to realise that as okay as it is strive for some dark art, to listen to those nasty songs or to watch those horrifying movies you need to be prepared to pull self back and take stock of reality again. She is just a young kid and as a youngster she is influenced by things around her as she finds her own creative voice. However, I have personally seen people completely lose themselves in a mindset and it doesn’t take much searching to find stories of others where this has happened to.

What is art if not to influence? What are the dark reaches of the world if not to explore? What is curiosity if not a little on the morbid side?

It’s fun to lose yourself in twisted imaginations. By all means enjoy those things that can manifest when you give way to the darker emotions. The important thing is to remember that the world is generally a great place to. Find your happy spot. Don’t let it consume you. I guess what I’m really saying is let the light in every once and a while.